Friday, January 27, 2017

My new "Project". A purpose to my living.

I've decided that I am going to undertake a sort of project. I was inspired by Anne Frank and how she not only kept a private diary about her time hiding away from the Nazis, but also was writing a more public version of it that she had hoped to publish one day. She labeled her diaries "A" for the private one she used on a regular basis, and "B" for the one she was writing to be published. There was also a "C" version that Otto, her father, had made by omitting some entries he thought were a bit too personal and revealing of Anne and thus they didn't belong in a published book.

Anne Frank's actual diary.

I am going to start making a more public version of my dairy, not necessarily to be published, but maybe to be read by family and friends as a sort of legacy of my struggles with MI, or maybe just a peek into my inner mind. I don't really know what the purpose of the journal is at this point, I just know I want to write one as if it were a book of some sort.

Anyways, I have by my side right now a composition notebook, which will serve as my means of organizing my thoughts before I actually write in the journal, which I also have at my side. My thinking is that I'll use the composition notebook to take "notes" and make memos to myself about what I am writing in the actual journal.

I don't know if I'm being overly ambitious or not, but I want at least some sort of legacy, which I think, is something a lot of others can relate to. Now, I'm not implying in any sort of fashion that I'm planning on leaving this mortal coil any time soon. No. I'm just in the mindset that someday, in the not too present future, perhaps when I've gone old and grey and maybe not of sound mind anymore, or perhaps even after I've died of old age, that I'll have left something for those who cared about me to read, and feel a deep sense of connection to.

I also want to record some family stories and knowledge within it as well, so that they aren't lost to time. I know that my paternal grandparents aren't getting any younger, and that they might not have too many more years left on them (though with their combined stubbornness and tenacity who really knows how much life they've got left to live), and my maternal grandparents are no longer among the living. I'm pretty sure that when my maternal grandmother passed on, a chunk of the family history she knew that we, her children and grandchildren probably didn't, and thus it was lost when she passed on.

I want to preserve what family memories and history there is left to record before it all is lost to time.

I'm using a large pink 400 pg. C. R. Gibson "Markings" brand journal for this "project". I might go back and use previous entries from other journals, or maybe just write from memory. I don't know yet.

This is the journal I'm using. Nice, eh?

Well, that's all for now so...

TTFN!!

1 comment:

  1. I think this is a FABULOUS idea, and journaling is a passion that I also share. It has become very important to me as a way to do battle with my anxieties as well as a method for unpacking past events, relationships, etc. that have all played a role in getting me where I am today -- a person struggling in a lot of ways, but a person that feels like now they are on a rollercoaster that only goes up c:

    Since we're talking ambitions here -- I am kind of obsessed with the idea of getting old journals (like on eBay and such) and other ephemera and objects from the same time period as the journal, and bringing those people to life in a way, sending a monthly package to families or individuals or students who subscribe and make note of their preferred periods, if applicable. I think it would be such a grand idea, like a big project done by a few and shared wit the masses, where people get a snippet of a real person from the past, in such a personal way, similar to how the Anne Frank diary is so unique and inspiring.

    Back to journaling -- One of my biggest issues is that I never get around to journaling... I put it off... I have other things I need to get done... I'm not in the mood... WHATEVER. It just doesn't happen consistently too often! When it does, I'm so proud of myself. I love flipping through the filled pages, all made deliciously crinkly by the writing on both sides. I'm less OCD than I used to be -- inflamed that there was a scribble, ripping out the page to start over, when why does it have to be so perfect, Joa? I would never hold anyone else to those standards. So I try to talk to myself as if I were an external friend seeing this happening... like, hey, Joa, it's totally fine, the mistakes make it interesting! Make that black mark into a work of art, or just move on with writing around it! Hakuna Matata!

    I know this is getting lengthy -- but have you ever tried art journaling? Or journaling with a friend? Both are grand. I know a retired art professor who has been doing snail mail journals with other artist friends around the world for decades. He does a page, sends it out, someone else does a page, and they send it, and so on and so forth until it's full. Very cool. I would love to do that.

    I found your blog through this link (https://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/431205-depression-pen-pal.html#post4971221) because I had Googled "depression penpal." I used to have penpals and do craft swaps in high school, which was grand, but it too drifted away, along with a lot of my other joys and hobbies. I clicked your link because I saw you had a pentagram! And I'm so glad I did! You're super awesome. I'm pagan myself. I hope you don't mind the lengthy comment... I need to get back to work! (I run a home business with my partner.) I kind of want to start a Blogspot now... I used to do LiveJournal back in the day... HMM...

    Anyway, I'd love for you to reach out if you care to. My e-mail is theaveragedream@gmail.com. If you're having trouble finding motivation to journal despite REALLY, REALLY wanting to, let me know and maybe we can figure something out to motivate each other! c: Good luck with journaling. I hope to check back and maybe one day see an update of how it all is going!

    Cheers,

    Joa

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